4/30/2023 0 Comments What is love means to you![]() I learned to turn to God for love instead and accept the limitations of my human family. Of course, that became a “love” I could no longer bear. Those fears were realized when my marriage ended and they refused to support me.Īs long as I agreed not to talk about my divorce, they would continue to tolerate me. ![]() I had always suspected my family would reject me if I messed up. You are unfailingly supportive even when it makes you sick and exhausted. You don’t question the person when they let you down. ![]() You are asked to maintain the status quo, pretending things are fine when they’re not. Similar to #1, this kind of faux love requires you not to rock the boat. When I discovered no human being could fulfill all my needs, I could let them off the hook and just love them. “That’s why we need Jesus,” my friend said, which came as a huge relief to me. This sounds okay, even like a love song, but can be dangerous when you are expected to meet another’s needs in order to receive their love. Giving away sex only semi-consensually takes a huge toll on the soul. This culture keeps both men and women giving into something they may not want. You get the message they can get it somewhere else if you don’t comply with their demand. This one is self-explanatory and happens all too often in the modern dating world. Only if she goes along with the lie, will she retain their love. They pretend to themselves they’re all right while the scapegoat is all wrong. Rather than face their problems, the family demonizes the scapegoat. This often happens in families when the scapegoat or whistle blower finds herself ostracized and abused simply for pointing out the truth. Without a savior, it is too scary to enter into your dark side. Rather than challenging that person to see us as we are, we hide.īoth people are denied the right to grow and change and self-reflect. We withhold ourselves for the pleasure of the other person. This condition causes us to detach from our true selves as we keep things light regardless of dark feelings. This condition says I will withdraw love if you want to talk about your problems or get too heavy with your needs. In subtle ways they tell you they will withdraw their devotion if you fail to meet one or more of these demands: 1. ![]() Looking back on a life filled with limited affection, I’ve discerned six conditions people place on love. Unconditional love is love you don't have to earn. ![]()
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